Someone please explain to me some, most, or all of the following:
1. Why Ben and Jerry's ice cream tubs say that you should finish the container in 4 tries--when most everyone can do it in 2?
2. Why every Safeway in Northern Va is trying to look like a Wegmans?
3. Why Verizon Wireless gives me zero service in this city, "AMERICA'S MOST RELIABLE NETWORK" fucking liars--?
4. Why lauren and i had a class of 2005 day and spotted not only jake on TV, but jessie mueler and her family onstage in Chicago, and myself--Matt Stucky (and Christian Conn) in Loves Labors Lost in the Shakespeare Park Ampitheatre?
5. Why i just dont call some people back...?
1 comment:
1. Because the rapid consumption of sugar can lead to pancreatic problems at a later age, thus pacing one's self helps to reduce any liabilties Ben & Jerry might face (cum woman suing mcdonald's because they made her fat).
2. Because Wegmans are popping up like dandelions all over the metropolitan area and people like shopping at snooty overpriced (but painfully delicious) grocery stores, ergo Safeway must keep up or perish.
3. Because "America's Most Reliable Network" sounds better than "A pretty good network that gives you service just about everywhere you DON'T need it."
4. I got nothin'.
5. Because you clearly don't want to talk to them in spite of any consolatory claims to the contrary you might make to said uncalled persons, and wish they would just leave you be.
Take it easy, tex.
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