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Someone please explain to me some, most, or all of the following:

1. Why Ben and Jerry's ice cream tubs say that you should finish the container in 4 tries--when most everyone can do it in 2?

2. Why every Safeway in Northern Va is trying to look like a Wegmans?

3. Why Verizon Wireless gives me zero service in this city, "AMERICA'S MOST RELIABLE NETWORK" fucking liars--?

4. Why lauren and i had a class of 2005 day and spotted not only jake on TV, but jessie mueler and her family onstage in Chicago, and myself--Matt Stucky (and Christian Conn) in Loves Labors Lost in the Shakespeare Park Ampitheatre?

5. Why i just dont call some people back...?

not like that

i was dissapointed to find today that jake did not premier himself on CBS, and instead i was bombarded with his face on yet another Gillette commercial. this one-- was in honor of father's day. however, now that i am officially hooked on As the World Turns-- all it takes is one episode-- i can fill anyone in who would like to know about Katie, Jack, Carli and their children who included JJ and Parker-- who no longer likes to eat Mac and Cheese.

i have yet to walk a dog and can only wish and hope that the dogs i walk with look like the following:

Am i biased towards certain dogs? it seems so. i enjoy ugly, fat, wrinkled and all together bizzare looking animals. it makes me wonder how i'll look at my children, if they come out decent looking that is. if i have children. if i decide to do something with my life that is not exclusive to art and misery.

TOMORROW:

-i work a double

-attempt not to spend money

-spend time with allison

-dread meeting new people

-attempt not to spend money

-miss out on what happens to Katie, Carli and Jack on ATWT

-read my self-help-gardening books

-attempt not to spend money

little mama

A time for firsts.

As much as I wish to expand on what it's like to begin here-- that would be giving people what they want. and i tend to shy away from such things.

however, i will say this:

the most exciting thing that happened to me tonight

a couple came in for dinner. i sat them, noting their odd pairing. a tall model, yet trash-ily made up asian with her shorter, bald, 'foreign' boyfriend. she ordered the buttercrunch lettuce and the halibut, he- i dont remember, and its not important. Why? because following the order for the next fifteen minutes the two decided to battle it out across the red velvet booth, his voice getting to about 6 or 7 decibles louder than we normally permit in the restaurant. luckily they were seated next to a couple, at the other red velvet booth, who had taken the opportunity to move their chairs much closer together and make out, almost literally, while asiawoman and baldy had it out. several times I swear i made out, "see der you go. you do dis!" to her reply, "i'm not playing games, my GOD!" Kari quickly informed me that the two had cancelled their entrees and would be leaving soon.

following:

i walk out to my car, literally laughing at their misery, and the two angry pods get into the car behind me. lovely. a silver corvette of some kind which i had to make sure i didnt hit as i came out of my lovely parallel parking job, nor let them see me laughing at their antics in the mirror.

LIST

1. be careful when laughing at other's misfortunes. karma is a bitch, and real.

2. jake silbermann premiers on As the World Turns tomorrow, CBS 2pm

3. i should be walking dogs professionally by the end of this, or beginning of next week.

4. my mother still thinks i might come to finland.

5. i enjoy spending money that i dont really have.

6. i will be moving into my vacant and boring house soon. i havent decided whether i will invite people over to drink on my patio in the afternoon-- or simply drink for, and by myself.